im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
