I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This baby is an asshole
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
