see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Your dad touched me again.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
