Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You need a sexual gate keeper
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just gargled with NyQuil
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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