I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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