now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
