went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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