I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
