Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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