So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
