Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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