I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
