hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
