he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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