Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
