You work out of a Hotel?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
