He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dicks are not precious.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
