i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
