its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
