you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
