i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
