hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
