i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
