I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
