i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
