it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize