Little spoons don't ask big questions
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize