I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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