she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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