Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
