I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
