Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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