Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
