there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
