I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
