lets start a swedish sibling band together
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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