WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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