i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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