did you get engaged???
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
