Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think my vagina is haunted
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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