he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
