Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
