That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
