My cat gives me a boner
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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