I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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