i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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