There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
