Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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