i already hear my dad disowning me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
