I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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