so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
