how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No subtext here. People are naked.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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