I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
