Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and she was petting her beer can
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
