i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
