i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize