dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
