Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
